Jarful of Stories - Reading Dummy

this week's story

Broadcast: April 17, 2011

Here’s a story about Duke, my pet mouse, in honor of the theme, “Duke Parking Only.” I rarely feature a show of only Duke stories because there are so many other tales to tell. This time I have a story for you about reading. When I wrote this I thought of the crash test dummies. What if there were dummies to test/fool reading? But I won’t spoil it. Read on and see what you think.

DUKE THE MOUSE IN: THE READING DUMMY

    Duke refused to read. Oh, he’s my pet mouse and he’s supposed to read a certain number of pages each night before bed but lately he’s been such a pill, refusing to do just about anything. As for reading, forget it. I found him one day sitting in my stinky tennis shoe with his nose in a book. How did I know he wasn’t reading it? He was holding that mouse-sized book up-side-down. What kind of fool does he take me for?
    Well, Duke quickly told me that I was a special kind of fool, far and above an ordinary fool. I don’t know if he was trying to make me feel good but he’s got to do better than that.
    Anyway, to make my point I told Duke he was to stay inside for the rest of the day and read, read, read. And if he didn’t do it I would make he stay after and read, read, read.
    To be honest, that’s a little hard since Duke is my pet mouse and he lives with me anyway. It’s not like he’s going any place, what with all the cats out there.
    Nonetheless I wanted to emphasize how important it is to read, especially if there’s a writer in the house. I mean if my own pet mouse isn’t going to read my stories then who will?
    Duke told me he had something more important to do and he would need to be excused just this one time if I didn’t mind. He said he was going to take a nap in the afternoon sunshine.
    I should say not. There’s no excuse for that kind of thing! I told my pet mouse to sit himself down and get busy reading because there was going to be a quiz, then a test and finally another test or quiz or something even worse. Reading is not supposed to be fun, I told him. Now get in there and read, read, read!
    All that shouting made mr sleepy so I slipped outside and found a place in the hammock. Why would anybody want to sleep in the sun when napping in the shade is so much better?
    Now, I didn’t know it at the time but my pet mouse was up to something. First he found an old sock of mine and some string. He stuffed another sock into the first one and tied some string here and there until he had a stuffed mouse that look like him — only if I wasn’t wearing my glasses and it was dark as midnight. Duke made a dummy of himself and then plopped a tiny mouse-sized book in this dummy’s hands. Ok, I guess it might have looked a little like Duke because, I mean, a mouse is a mouse, right?
    After my nap I came back inside and got busy with something else. I noticed a lump in my shoe and thought it probably was Duke because who else could stand the smell of my stinky shoe?
    I started talking to him about the importance of reading to expand your mind even if your mind is always thinking about naps and snacks. Settling down with a good book is the best way to get to know yourself. And after you get to know yourself you can have a conversation with yourself which is what I usually do all the time.
    Now where was I?
    Oh, yes, the importance of reading.
    And then I heard it for the first time. It sounded like a tiny voice coming from outside, yelling for help. At first I thought it was my pet mouse but I knew that couldn’t be because he was still sitting in my shoe reading at a hundred miles an hour.
    Finally I heard it again. Then I looked out the window and saw Pea-Brain, our neighbor’s cat in a tree inching her way out on a thin branch.
    Boy, I thought, what a dummy of a cat, up there clawing at nothing. And then I looked again. Out on the thinnest of the thinnest branches was none other than Duke the Mouse. I didn’t even have time to ask him what he was doing there. I mean, he was holding on for dear life.
    Without thinking I reached for my shoe and threw it towards Pea-Brain. Of course the reading dummy, which looked like a mouse to me, sailed through the air and landed right on the back of Pea-Brain. That cat could smell a rodent but she couldn’t see it. She spun around to snatch that mousey thing off her back but couldn’t hang on to the branch any longer. At last Duke was safe! Pea-Brain was falling back to the ground, wrestling in mid-air with a fake mouse.
    Now Duke should have taken the opportunity to get back in the house where it was safe. But noooo! Not Duke! He jumped, too. By some amazing stroke of luck he landed right on the neck of that witless cat, bronco-style, and began riding Pea-Brain like a wild horse. I wish you could have seen it. First this way, then that, all the time bucking and tossing her head and trying to get her claws on my little buddy.
    And then the cat saw the reading dummy again and decided to lunge for that. Duke grabbed one ear and pulled and Pea-Brain went in the direction of her ear. Duke pulled the cat’s left ear and she turned left. Next he pulled her right ear and she turned right. As soon as he pulled on both ears the cat came to a dead stop.
    Believe it or not, my pet mouse had tamed that wild cat. She was doing whatever he wanted. Well, clearly Duke didn’t need me anymore. I think any mouse who can tame a cat must be quite amazing. I had something important to do in the shade. When I woke from my nap I found Duke, almost asleep, snuggled up next to Pea-Brain — and Pea-Brain was reading to my pet mouse. So much for making Duke do the reading. And as Duke fell asleep, the cat kept reading because it was such a good book. And that, I finally found out, is the key to reading. Find yourself an exciting book. And that’s the way it is with Duke.

The End

I like the name “Pea-Brain” for a cat. For some reason it makes me smile. Oh, and I also liked how the-lion-laid-down-with-the-lamb theme worked out. If that doesn’t make sense, relax, because someday it will. Thanks for reading this story and I hope you enjoyed it.